Lab rats in tiny pants prove polyester won't
get you laid
In her new book Bonk, Mary Roach cites a study that can only be described as Stuart Little meets The Nutty Professor—oh, and crazy: An Egyptian researcher dressed 75 rats in pants for a year and found that the ones wearing a poly-cotton blend had sex significantly less often than the rats whose slacks were cotton or wool. He theorized that polyester sets up troublesome electrostatic fields in and around the genitals. (Uh, yes, static shock probably would be an issue for furry rodents going commando.)
While this study raises some obvious questions—for instance, how a rat actually takes his pants off to have sex, and if the polyester pants were more, like, retro Scott Baio as Chachi on Happy Days, or chachi Scott Baio is 45 and Single. But we know one thing is true: How you dress can make her want you...or not.
The good news is dressing your best has never been easier. Use our style sense tool to solve any pattern-color conundrum, and follow our guide to making your favorite pair of jeans last forever. And because a pair of pants is only as good as what lies beneath, there's the Underwear Center—so no man will be left out in the breeze (or subject to genital friction).
While you shouldn't be taking style tips from four-legged friends, they might be able to teach you a thing or two about sex. Boost your animal magnetism with these straight-from-the-wild mating tips and learn how to use your goods like they do in the jungle.
Now put on your lucky (cotton) pants and get squeakin'.
