Americans read sex studies for one reason, .They want to know, 'how am they are doing?' . They suspect that somewhere out there, someone else is having more fun in bed.
The desire for comparisons is meaningless.
Among the most widely publicized sex reports in decades, stunned the world by revealing that Americans' favorite sex act was plain intercourse. Pundits concluded that tradition (and the missionary position) reigned supreme in the bedroom.
In 1998, study commissioned of the sexual attitudes and practices of Americans 45 and older—the first such nationwide inquiry to span midlife to old age.
Earlier polls may have underestimated the sexual activity of healthy older adults by lumping together people who have a regular partner with people who don't.
The AARP/ Modern Maturity Sexuality Study didn't make that mistake—and the results don't lend themselves to easy generalizations .
What emerges is not one big picture but a series of closeups, illuminating the physical and emotional complexity of sex in midlife and beyond. Among the most significant snapshots:
About half of 45- through 59-year-olds have sex at least once a week, but among 60- through 74-year-olds, the proportion drops to 30 percent for men and 24 percent for women.

While frequency drops with age, more than 70 percent of
surveyed men and women who have regular partners are
sexually active enough to have intercourse at least once
or twice a month.
About two thirds of those polled were extremely or very
satisfied with their physical relationships.
With advancing age, any gender gap in behavior is
overshadowed by a partner gap between the haves (men of
every generation) and the have-nots (half of women 60
through 74 and four out of five 75 and older). More than
50 percent of men and women with partners—but less than
half of 1 percent of women and only 6 percent of men
without a regular partner—have intercourse at least once
a week.
The generation gap in sexual attitudes between those who
came of age in the 1960s and their parents is as
apparent today as it was then—especially among women—and
may foreshadow a more active sex life for the younger
generation as it ages. Women 45 through 59 are much more
likely to approve of sex between unmarried partners and
to engage in oral sex and masturbation—and less likely
to believe that "sex is only for younger people"—than
women 60 and older. Older men also espouse more
conservative values than younger men, but the gap is
much narrower.
Only a small proportion of men—5.6 percent—are currently
trying new treatments for impotence, but half of those
taking some form of medication are taking Viagra. More
significantly, the majority of the men and their
partners said that the drug had increased their
enjoyment of sex.
Americans 60 and older believe that better health would
do more to enhance their sexual pleasure than any other
life change. Nevertheless, more than half of men and 85
percent of women say that their sex lives are unimpaired
by illness—even those age 75 and older.
"The falloff in frequency begins with the aging process.
All drugs, disease, and relationship problems get added
to this basic evolutionary shift," emphasizes Stephen B.
Levine, M.D., clinical professor of psychiatry at Case
Western Reserve University School of Medicine in
Cleveland, Ohio, and the author of Sexuality in
Mid-Life. "We used to treat older people as though sex
was not possible, but now we've flip-flopped and
transmitted the message that everyone is supposed to be
having fantastic sex forever. Over age 50, the quality
of sex depends much more on the overall quality of a
relationship than it does for young couples."
Levine's observation is borne out in the AARP/Modern
Maturity Sexuality Study. The proportion of those rating
their physical relationship with their partner as
"extremely " or "very" satisfying—67 percent of men, 61
percent of women—is quite close to the percentage who
reported high satisfaction with their emotional
relationship (70 percent of men, 62 percent of women).
Perhaps the saddest truth embedded in the numbers in
this study is that for most (though not all) older
widows, the loss of a husband translates into the end of
sex.
At 75 and older, when more than four out of five women
are widowed (compared with only one out of five men),
the percentage of women who had gone six months without
intercourse or "sexual touching and caressing" was
virtually identical to the percentage of widows.
Still more painful to read was that two thirds of
75-and-older women had also been deprived of sensual
kisses and hugs. "A 75-year-old widow who says she has
no interest in sex may really be saying she has no
opportunity for sex," says Shirley Zussman, Ed.D., a
couples therapist in New York City and past president of
the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors
and Therapists. "She looks for connectedness to the
world in other ways."
Women of all ages consider close friendship and family
ties more important than fulfilling sex. Among 45-
through 59-year-olds, more than two thirds of women—but
only 41 percent of men—regard friendship and family
bonds as very important to their quality of life.
But men value their friendships more highly as they age.
Of those 75 and older, nearly 60 percent of men
attribute great importance to ties with friends and
family.
At every age, though, sex does seem to hold greater
importance for men than women. Nearly 60 percent of
men—but only about 35 percent of women—say sexual
activity is important to their overall quality of life.
The gap in attitudes between women over and under 60
suggests that Baby Boomer women, the oldest of whom are
in their late 40s and early 50s, will be much less
likely than their mothers' generation to accept celibacy
as the natural outcome of widowhood. "These women came
of age believing they had a right to sexual pleasure,"
Zussman says, "and that belief isn't going to evaporate
at age 65 or 75."
About 5 percent of men 75 and older—but more than 35
percent of women in that age group—say they would be
quite happy if they never had sex again. Among women in
their 40s and 50s, only 9 percent are sanguine about
such a prospect.
Only about one third of women under 60 agree that
"people should not have a sexual relationship if they
are not married"—compared with half of women 60 through
74 and two thirds 75 and older. At no age do a majority
of men declare that sex outside marriage is wrong (a
finding not likely to surprise women). The study did not
ask about adultery—which presumably would have elicited
much stronger disapproval from men and women of all
ages.
There's an obvious connection between a woman's attitude
toward nonmarital sex and her sex life after widowhood.
For a woman who might want a man in her life but does
not wish to remarry—the position of many older
widows—the belief that sex outside marriage is morally
wrong is likely to pose an insurmountable barrier to any
erotic relationship.
Older women are also more conservative in their
attitudes toward masturbation. Under age 60,
approximately a third had masturbated on occasion in
recent months, while more than 90 percent of women 75
and older said they had not. Overall, a majority of men
without partners said they masturbated, while more than
77 percent of women didn't.
